Healing happens when the time is right. Our lives and bodies are subject to an enormous amount of interior and exterior influence. Our emotions, relationships, our immediate environment such as our home and the land we live on, as well as the planets that constantly move above us. The Taoist sages of old learnt to listen to the subtle movements of qi within their bodies recognising that whatever happened within was a reflection of the larger environment without and vice versa.
For ten years I struggled to heal chronic fatigue, very painful digestive issues as well as chronic thrush infections that constantly interfered with my ability to have intimate relationships. My wellbeing suffered enormously as a result, I was miserable and felt I was stuck in a never-ending loop of illness. I was in ground hog day. Nothing seemed to work and I had tried everything, all the diets, positive thinking, meditation, healing modalities etc. I would have to pick myself up time and time again, telling myself that I knew my destiny was to be a well and healthy woman. I just knew that our bodies are always moving towards homeostasis or a state of balance, and if mine was not, it meant that there was something I was missing somewhere. Where though, I had absolutely no idea.
It was only when I was on a mountaintop in China, meditating in a Taoist temple that I received an image and words that changed the course of my life. The image was of Carn Ingli, our beloved mountain here in West Wales. I was familiar with this area, but had never seen the mountain itself only pictures of it. It was like a bolt of lightening. I knew I had to come and be with the mountain. I had no idea why or how but the message was clear. I returned to Brighton, where I had been living and sofa surfed for a bit and put the image out of my mind. Then I travelled to Goa, and there my mind was made up. My soul was calling me desperately to west wales.
Acting on one’s soul’s instincts is so exciting and I had many adventures before I arrived in Newport, including meeting a guy who spontaneously told me how to align and meditate with mountains! Perfect. Once in Newport and meditating with Carn Ingli, I in no time bumped into an old friend who took me to Tir Ysbrydol. Two weeks turned into three years living in this magical, wild community. Gradually I began to really ground myself, tuning into the extraordinary healing capacities of wild land and my body. Here I learnt to work with trees, Nature and my energy body on a deep level. But most importantly of all, I believe the timing was right.
Astrology provided a key. I discovered that Pluto was transiting my ascendant, triggering a Pluto square. Pluto drags us through the underworld of our psyche pulling all and everything up and out. We can either listen to Pluto’s call or ignore it at our peril. Death (of all that is old and tired) and transformation is it’s calling card. It was Pluto’s energy that carried me through that healing period, and attuning to its energy helped me access that parts of me that were screaming at me to be healed.
Looking back over the last ten years, and recognising the enormous influence Pluto has had on my life, I can see that before it moved onto my ascendant (in my natal chart), it simply wasn’t the right time for me to go as deep as I needed to in order to heal myself. I am writing this now, as we have just had the massive ground shaking Pluto/Saturn conjuction that only happens every 500 years or so. Being so close to my ascendant this planetary alignment sent shock waves through my life this winter, again stirring up energies from the dark and deep that needed to be cleared and healed.
I highly recommend getting to know the planets and how they relate to your natal chart. I’m not an astrologer but over the years have learnt enough to read my own chart and the transits. Tuning into the planetary energy of the time can be extremely helpful in de-coding what is going on in your life. Kaypacha does a wonderful weekly report on youtube, Pam Gregory is very good as is Molly McCord.
If you are struggling to heal don’t lose heart. It can be so tough to pick yourself up time and time again, but there are things you can do:
- Create an uplifting mantra for yourself and keep on saying it. Believe it. Even when your physical body is telling you otherwise. We only have a minute grasp of reality and have no idea how far along we really might be, and healing may be just around the corner, this is the great Mystery.
My mantra was:
“In each and every way, I am healthier every day. I am pure radiant, vibrant health in action, YES I AM!”
- Develop a meditation practice to connect you to source and higher dimensions of light. Visualise a pillar of light through your body, connecting you with source. Feel light flowing down into your body and expanding out from your heart centre, into your auric field. Mmmm
- Develop an interest in your body, through some form of movement practice/ body meditation.
- Be playful and gentle with yourself. Lower the intensity dial and smile. The body requires gentleness to reveal its wisdom.
- Ask your guides and beings from the higher dimensions of light for assistance. They will always help you. Be open and allow.
- Trust that everything you are doing IS making a difference somewhere and somehow.
You are the author of your life!